I can't take it (other forums)

ReddyMcMeaty · I can't take it (other forums)

I frequent a mothering forum and since the berry season has started the forum has exploded with people wondering wtf is wrong with either their children who have gone ballistic with constant insane tantrums, or themselves .. having meltdowns, freakouts, irritability, anxiety etc.

OMG. Salicylates people. I feel like I'm just haunting that place saying, well you guys have been eating lots of strawberries lately haven't you? Laugh

I'm doing it in real life too. Someone tell me to stop, I can't stop myself. I'm the crazy anti-berry lady.

Avalon

Anti-Berry Lady...

Meet

Very- Berry Lady!

WHOOOHHOOO HAAAHAHAHAAA!!!

adwred

Meg, don't stop. Be the anti-berry lady. Be that lady! I need a partner, even if she's an ocean away.

Carnation

Seriously, don't stop being crazy berry lady. Nobody is ever going to learn any other way. It's going to be a one person at a time kind of thing until it reaches critical mass.

Kristi31

Been eating loads of berries too lately. So good....so addictive!

Erasmus

Hmmmm....

Just a question mind you....

If berries make you bitchy, what keeps you bitching about berries? Laugh

(naturally I expect you not read this under "the influence" as it is posted in a humorous vein and not meant to bring out Strawberry-hulk)

-E

Avalon

adwred

It's easy to bitch about it all the time if no one takes you seriously and keeps trying to feed your kids stuff that makes them sick. That makes even the cuddliest teddy bear of a woman angry.

waywardsister

Wow, that's interesting. Is it a large number of them experiencing this? I love seeing these connections play out, just bc it helps me understand them better.

I wonder - if these kids weren't being bombarded with other chemicals or intolerant foods or whathaveyou, would they be able to handle more salicylates? Meaning, we've so much crap coming at us from all different sources, I wonder if we're all living closer to that reaction threshold than we would be if, say, we were traipsing around the savannah. Like how I no longer have debilitating hayfever in the summer, bc I'm not bombarding my system with other things my body can't handle (wheat, birth control pills etc).

It's strawberry season here and normally I'd be eating a ton, but I've found I'm not that interested anymore. I have a few, I'm done.

adwred

It's all to do with genetics, sis. Some people can tolerate the salicylates in food if they do something as simple as eliminate the chemicals in OTC drugs and cosmetics - and that's enough to keep them under the threshold. Some find summer (vit. D? some x factor that we're not sure about) to be enough of a relief from symptoms that they can eat a few salicylatey things, especially if they're seasonal and ripe (which is the point at which salicylates are lowest in a fruit/veg).

Everything adding together definitely increases the load. I know when I'm really careful about salicylates and phenolics in general, I have a higher tolerance for amines and glutamates. But I'm still definitely an amine and glutamate responder and nothing will take that away entirely.

Some are just really sensitive and no amount of avoidance is going to relieve them of their sensitivities. They're called super responders. It just depends on how bad your body is at metabolizing these things. There are kids out there that NEED - really badly - to eliminate the chemicals in food, regardless of how careful they are about outside chemicals because their genetics demand it. These aren't just the kids who get a rash, but the ones who experience life-threatening asthma or seriously behavioral problems (ADD, ADHD, Oppositional Defiance Disorder, etc.) or are really obviously falling on the autism spectrum.

My life would have been so different, growing up, if my mother had known about Failsafe. I would have been a much MUCH happier kid.

Avalon

Red wrote:

adwred

It's OK, I'm better now. Yup

Well, mostly. Laugh

Avalon

With me it was my Mother's obsession with weight Roll Eyes

and screaming and yelling at my Sister about her weight gain. Forget second hand smoke(which I got plenty of in closed windowed cars) we're talking second hand verbal abuse.

adwred

OMG the crazy shit parents do. Shock

My mother had this little pin cushion in the shape of a little fat female devil with little horns and a tail. And she called it 'Miss Manners'. And she'd put it on the table in front of me while we ate at every single meal... and she'd say 'Always leave something on your plate. Leave some food for Miss Manners!'. Bonkers

I hated that pin cushion! It was, like, the actual devil, to me.

And my Dad used to say that I had a twin sister that was invisible, named 'Goodlia' and Goodlia always did everything right and I always did everything wrong! Wow

Whenever I did something he thought was naughty or ate a treat, he'd say "Goodlia would never do that". Or he'd say he was taking Goodlia out to do something fun, but I had to stay at home... stuff like that.

Carnation

Whoa, that is crazy. Do people lose their minds the instant their children are born? Please tell me this isn't always the case.

adwred

I think everyone does stuff they regret, which is forgivable and fixable, as long as you recognize it and own up to it. It's the people who think they were pro-star parents and are totally deluded that are the real problem. Horrible passive-aggressive mothers who control through guilt... or Dads who think that even though they called you fat/ugly/worthless, that because they never hit you, they were they did a fantastic job as a father - that sort of thing.

Avalon

Really a little baffled by your last post Red. Not disagreeing, just not fully understanding, though as understanding goes... can you say that again before I try to comment. I know 'most' parents mean well though I am sure many are simply something holes... Toast

adwred

I mean parents are not perfect and you're going to react in anger or do things you regret, here and there. But acknowledging your faults and apologizing and trying to not repeat mistakes is a huge factor in terms of growth, as a parent. But so many parents think they're doing (or did) a great job and did no wrong, when that is clearly not the case. Clearer?

ReddyMcMeaty

I think that being able to see your behaviour for what it is, instead of feeling justified no matter what is the thing. She means the parents who just pretend they haven't made mistakes, or that they mistakes that hey have made do not need any acknowledgment or rectifying. THere are also a lot of people who really do mean well and love their family, but just can't see how their behaviour may be harmful. I can't stand the phrase "Well this was done to me/so and so/most kids and we turned out fine." because it is applied to everything from giving coke to 1 year olds, to leaving babies to scream in their beds alone, to hitting, to screaming to... whatever. My own husband has a bad habit of making comments about people's intelligence, handed down from his father - who woulds call his mother "stupid asshole" up to a hundred times per day, literally. DH doesn't say that to me, but he does comment about other people. He used to do it constantly, and he would say things like "that wasn't very smart" to the 2 year old. It's not allowed anymore, because even though it sounds innocent want to bet that 20 years of condescending comments about people's intelligence level is going to do something to my kids? People just don't think things though and don't want to admit that maybe their habits and reactions are not perfect.

Carnation

Even though I thought I had made peace with it, and knew how to go forward in my life without my mother ever acknowledging her negative impact on my life, it absolutely changed everything when she apologized to me. She went from being some kind of selfish monster in my eyes, to being a horribly flawed good person who had made a lot of bad choices.

Avalon

I know what you mean. My Mother apologized shortly before her passing. It was really good for me.

waywardsister

ReddyMcMeaty

Carnation