Cured my bulimia - going on 10 months

LOOPS · Cured my bulimia - going on 10 months

Hi -

just thought I would post this as it is the most dramatic thing ever for me. Having battled bulimia for years I finally got over it going high animal fat low-carb. I had experience with Atkins a couple of years back, but ditched it due to intense fruit cravings that never went away.

After two years of destroying my health with vegan, fruitarian and mixed diets, and always falling back into my eating disorder to try to control my weight I decided to re-adopt a low-carb WOE - but this time I went high fat and the fruit cravings didn't appear.

It is unheard of for me to go more than a month at most without bingeing and purging - at one point I thought that was the only way to control my desire to constantly pig out. I had bad skin - allergies to fructose, citrus - my eczema was awful (which got worse when I was vegan) and rashes under my eyes which I now believe are related to wheat and also carbs in general were exacerbating my inflammatory reactions. I even tried a high omega-3 diet - but this didn't seem to work for me - my skin was still a mess and I was still anxious a lot of the time.

I started back eating a lot of animal fat, cheese, butter, cream and at this point vegetables (induction style). I didn't kick alcohol but gave up beer and drank dry wine instead.

Gradually things started to improve - the rash under my eyes disappeared within the first week (even the dermatologist didn't know what it was), and the eczema on my legs started to clear up. At one point in my 'big vegan mistake' I had eczema covering most of my body. The only way I could help it was to drink about 1 litre of carrot juice a day - which had the side effect of giving me the crappiest acid reflux ever. Once I started back on high animal fat low-carb, the acid reflux disappeared, and most of the eczema dramatically. It took about 5 months for the eczema to go 90%. The remaining stubborn patch on my left hand is very very gradually still going.

I believe it is the real vitamin A in animal foods which is doing this - along with other fat-soluble vitamins that are abundant in animal fats - this would explain why the carrot juice helped - but thanks I would rather do without the acid reflux!

6-7 months in, and I felt more whole and then read about how vegetables are not really that necessary. I thought I would give it a shot - right now I still do eat a few veggies, but only when I feel like them- I don't consider them central to my diet - I still eat a few tomatoes and some lemon juice. If anything it is because I don't eat many organ meats and still have some mental worry about vitamin C. But I don't panic if I don't get my veggies. I also eat some nuts but that is more about practical travelling food more than anything - it is not something I stress about - I see these things as optional additions which don't affect me negatively (as far as I can make out). I still drink red wine.

Anyway, the point is, I am now going on 10 months without a single purge which is a milestone for me. I definitely attribute this success to feeling satisfied - and I feel satisfied because I'm eating lots of meat and fat. I have lost a little body fat - but I wasn't overweight to start with, so that is not a major concern. I eat around twice the calories I did before and don't limit my food.

If you want good skin eat lots of animal fat - I no longer have to use moisturizers which is great as I am very lazy.

This is WOE is da bomb.

fabshelly

Former bulemic here, too. I got to the point where all I had to do was overeat and boom shanka, didn't even have to use a finger.

When I'm full of meat and eggs, I'm comfortable and it stays with me.

Bobi-p

Congratulations Loops, and you too, Shelly. That disorder is a hard one to kick.

TidalPool

Wow, that is so awesome!!! Grin

I, too, had been bulmimic for years. Eating low carb helped greatly, but now that I eat mostly/all meat, I no longer binge and purge.

Thank you for sharing. Comfort

Jessica

Heather

Wow, I am so glad you shared and to everyone else with similar histories thank you for sharing! Smile

fabshelly

*shocked at myself*

I never told anyone that publicly.

LOOPS

Shelly -

I know exactly what you mean about feeling 'comfortable' after eating meat/eggs. I never get that panicky feeling that I used to - that I had to get rid of it all asap - sometimes I didn't even know WHY I had my head down the toilet. Now it is just not an issue. I get my betaendorphins raised in other ways now.

Jessica - if you don't mind me asking - were you still bulimic on 'normal' low-carb, and if so - which foods set you off the most? Was it just a problem of overeating and feeling guilty, or did you still feel a physical need to get rid of the food? Sorry if this is prying - you don't have to answer of course!

Loops

LOOPS

BTW well done Shelly for saying it publicly. The only person I was ever open about the whole thing to was my husband. He even chased me round the table once to get some bread away from me because he could tell I was about to tip over into a binge. That was always my binge food - lots of baguette slathered with hummous, butter and crisps - followed by chocolate, cakes, cookies - all washed down with huge amounts of sugary drink.

I am sooo glad those days are behind me now. It feels good to be able to eat and not worry.

Loops

Hellistile

Loops:
So glad you found us and congratulations on your success. Ecstatic

RedTulipMoon

Great testimony! thanks for sharing it Loops!

Congrats

FakeName

Congratulations! That is such a wonderful success.

Thank you for having the courage to share.

TidalPool

33zin

Thank you women for sharing this part of your history. (herstory???) It has been a real eye opener for me. This WOE / WOL seems to have such a positive effect on so many things ! Excema, bulemia, weight gain, nervousness and anxiety. Although the rest of the population may think NO CARB is crazy..... look at all the undeniable health results because of it ! ---- For me, the improvements in skin and hair and the loss of MOOD SWINGS is dramatic. Love it.

RedTulipMoon

My 17 yr old son is bipolar and schizophrenic and his doctor put him on a low carb diet..its supposed to help his symptoms..problem is i can get him to stay on it..sigh

marly · Carbs were always my enemy...

It was wonderful to read about bulimics helping themselves by switching to a meat/fat regimen. I was never bulimic but I was certainly anorectic.

I was so thin in my teens, the modeling agency dropped me because of my "matchstick" arms.

I'm 73 and for 60 of those years, I've been a vegetarian/vegan obese woman. I've made Weight Watchers wealthy by constantly joining, losing weight, and giving up in disgust.

Finally, I've chosen to eat zero carb. It's a huge change and a welcome one. The only down side is that I have to wear deodorant now. I really do smell like pot roast. Perhaps, over time, my body will adjust and I'll be my sweet self again.

Ten months ago, I joined my first forum which was controlled low carb. I loved the people and the level of intelligence there but as my reading and research deepened, I realized that I wasn't interested in any recipes or any carbs of any kind and I definitely wanted to stop using artificial sweeteners.

I have weighed 300 pounds and 102 as an adult. Neither is desirable. My goal is 128 pounds so I have 100+ to lose. I am firmly committed to zero carbing for life.

Marly

NikkiLC

I too have found my bulimia seems to have settled and since i switched to meat and fats i have had zero episods of wanting to either binge or vomit.
why i got scraed when my appitite dropped to near zero i was worried it could start a binge starve cycle but so far it hasnt. I feel more in control of my eating now than i have in 20 yrs.

Thanks for all the advice and support
Nikki Big Hug

Quoldrix

For all of you that have suffered with bulimia Comfort

Wanna hear something really stupid?......I tried to become bulimic but couldn't make myself throw up. I tried and tried but couldn't do it. so I considered myself an even bigger failure Beat Wall

Great to see so much recovery going on here!

LOOPS

Ok here's something even sadder talking of not throwing up.

I used to throw up so much in university one day my body just refused to do it - I mean I'd eaten enough to feed an army and I was desperate to get rid of it - but nada. So you know what I did? I actually took an overdose of pills and called an ambulance so they would pump my stomach. That is just so sad I reached that point. The people at the hospital thought I wanted to kill myself - somehow that was more acceptable than the truth! I did this little trick about 5 times - but the last time I took too many pills and ended up on a detox drip (which I had an allergic reaction to and nearly died anyway) for 4 days. That was the last time I ended up in hospital and by then the cat was out the bag and my Mum got me some help with a nutritional therapist.

It never left me though - that panic after eating, the wild impulsive drive to just eat EVERYTHING in sight then get rid of it to get the massive high.

That was around 10 years ago. The next 10 years were spent trying to find a way of eating that freed me from the disease, but I'd always end up either restricting or bingeing, and always gaining weight if I ate anywhere near a normal amount.

When I found out about low-carb I was just HIGH. I mean I KNEW I'd found something that would actually work and I could be free. I could really relish eating again and enjoy nourishing my body instead of punishing it.

Nikki I still binge on fat sometimes but instead of making me panic it makes me feel great. This is just natural for me - most humans overeat when given the chance or have the drive - but then I won't be hungry for a long time after, which is how it should be.

Hugs to you all.

Loops

marly · Bulimic no more...

Loops-

What a story! And what a blessing that you've found the right path for yourself.

I was never bulimic but my anorexia was devastating (from 11 to 16 years old). I didn't menstruate so I was given x-rays of the pituitary. One doctor gave me weekly adrenalin shots. When the stuff kicked in, I'd slump on a doorstep until I recovered. I remember hearing people say how pathetic for such a young girl to be a drunk.

I'm 73 and I can truly say that I have never awakened in the morning without wondering/worrying what I'd eat that day.

This is the first week that I've, finally, totally committed myself to zero carb eating. Now, I wake up knowing that I have pork chops and beef ribs and tongue in the refrigerator and I can eat meat until I'm satisfied. I don't have to count calories or points or carbs.

I have a ton of weight to lose but, for the moment, I'm enjoying the sensation of not feeling oppressed and really enjoying what I eat.

Marly

LOOPS

wow Marly, those adrenalin shots sound awful. It's great to wake up and know you can eat your fill and not worry isn't it?

I was anorexic too way before I became bulimic. I think I was 14 and just got so fed-up of being the 'podgy' one in the family. Fed-up with the comments, I embarked on a 1000Kcal diet, plus several hours of cycling and swimming every day. I got on a real high - I lost loads of weight and then just kept going. I think I reached 6 and half stone which was emaciated for my build- no-one said anything can you believe that!! But I remember looking in the mirror and thinking - yeah I'm skinny, but I don't feel any better. So I started recovery then.

You know what - recently I was talking to my Ma on the phone (she lives in England and me in Chile) - it's admittedly been years since that episode (I'm 30 now) but she doesn't remember ANYTHING about it. I mean she is still in total denial it ever happened to me. That's sad but I left it as I've moved on anyway and don't want to cause her distress remembering.

Well I think it's wonderful you've decided to go for it with low carb. I really haven't looked back.

Loops

adwred

I, too, have suffered from an eating disorder. It started out as compulsive overeating and then in my twenties graduated to binge/fast disorder. Thankfully, I could never bring myself to throw up on purpose, or I'd be bulimic, for sure. Instead of short-term binge and fast cycles (from day to day), I'd go for months eating no more than 250 or 300 calories a day, then gain it all back and more over a couple of weeks.

I lost a lot of my weight from fasting or restricting and then would maintain the loss with low-carb eating (but never be able to lose any more, unless I started fasting again). The constant small but regular doses of carbs would keep me a slave to this cycle. Only now that I've gone zero-carb have I lost the desire to binge (or to restrict). I don't get that 'high' feeling from being empty anymore - I just feel like 'Uh oh... it must be steak time!' Happy

Red

LOOPS

Hi Red -

yeah I don't know how I ever got high on being empty - I slowly lost the ability to do that. My body took over eventually - shouting NO MORE. I truly believe it takes a loooong time to mend everything I broke before. I looked like crap for years whilst I was slowly destroying my body. These days I still have a few vices (like drinking and smoking), but despite these I look MILES better given more food and nutrition.

Eating disorders are awful, and look how many people suffer from them! If only I had been brought up eating lots of meat and fat I might never have been plagued by the weight/eating issues. I always thought that if I ate more calories I would end up really fat as I always put on weight just eating a 'normal' amount. No-one could see the problem as I was in the normal range for weight - but they didn't know I had to restrict like crazy to keep it like that. The cycle just went on and on and on.

Tonight I'm off to indulge in pork ribs a las brasas at my favourite restaurant. Finally I can really enjoy my food again instead of it being a tug of war.

Peace

Loops

waywardsister

Congratulations to all of you who've battled your ED and are now winning! Thanks for opening up. I am actually beginning work on a short documentary about anorexia with a friend/colleague of mine. It's interesting to hear how this WOE has helped you recover.

I never had an ED, but I always thought I was a compulsive overeater because of the way I would crave carby food and stuff my face with it. Some nights I would find myself standing in the kitchen with a mouth full of whole wheat crackers and wonder what the hell I was doing. I was waging a constant battle with my appetite. I'd eat so much, so much, and then feel so guilty and ashamed of myself. Sometimes I had to chew gum right after I had dinner to keep myself from gorging on bread or crackers. Only once did I try to throw up afterwards, and couldn't. Nothing would come up. I don't know how you guys managed to do it!

Once I cut the carbs, I was fine. The urges simply went away. All these years it wasn't a flaw in my character...it was the poison I was feeding my body. It's so amazing to feel in control and normal, instead of like a raging, ravenous cracker beast.

RedTulipMoon - your doc is a smarty! FYI, schitzophrenia can be related to gluten sensitivity/celiac disease. There's a whole host of neurological symptoms attached to food intolerance that get totally overlooked. Might be worth testing him.

Nana

Thank you very much for telling your story LOOPS! How you healed yourself is amazing.
I'm not bulimic but know all about the binge high and eating until sick, then restricting etc. Low carb has helped me very much, but it still happens that I readdict myself "on purpose" to get that high again, then don't find my way out for months. How crazy is that?
May I ask you how you coped with the psychological aspect of your eating disorder? Did everything just fall into place once food was low carb? How did you fill that void that bulimia left?
I'm still not sure what the root of my problem is.. is it the strong physical carb addiction that also affects my mind? Or is it really a bad coping mechanism for other problems in my life which needs counselling?
It is a bit of a chicken or egg dilemma..

Modern_Caveman

waywardsister

LOOPS

Hi Nana -

yes the psychological aspect of the eating disorder just disappeared immediately as soon as I was no longer obsessed with restricting food. I could eat to my fill without the fear of weight gain - which is really the root of an eating disorder which involves restriction and/or purgeing. I think there is a lot of confusion regarding eating disorders. In general, therapists believe that emotional issues are the problem and not food, but I don't believe this is true. Emotional stuff - yeah - sure - that's always there and it's good to sort it out, but the actual ED itself is self-perpetuating, and simply a means to an end. Nourish the body and the drive seems to go away.

Carbs can be just another drug. Blood sugar drops for the starving bulimic prompt eating LOTS of them, and all at once. Just the body taking over saying I NEED FOOD. Obviously eating lots of carbs and fat together does make you gain weight, unless of course you purge.

Yes I very much believe it is the carbs that affect the mind, and also malnutrition from restriction/purgeing.

About the void - well, once my blood sugar evened out and I ate whenever I felt like it, that urge to fill the void (which for me was a physical feeling of hunger) just went away. I didn't feel the void anymore if that makes any sense.

Sometimes i still binge - maybe it is emotional? Who knows - maybe my body needs the extra food? I binge on fat. I usually feel better afterwards and i don't gain weight. Interestingly these binges are followed by quite a long time without food - but this isn't intentional at all - just that I am full and don't want food for awhile afterwards.

The last thing that resolved after months WAS emotional - accepting that I will never be stick thin. And the best thing is now I don't want to be. I am slim and muscular - but not skinny.

I just did the food and yes, everything else got easier. Sure my other problems in life didn't go away - neither did my other addictions (still working on those) but the WHOLE food issues did. Brain and body always work together.

LOOPS

Oh I meant to add about beta-endorphins too. These get released in big quantities after bingeing and/or purgeing. Purgeing especially releases them in big doses - they're feel good chemicals. Now that surge is addictive, but for me I had an even BIGGER surge of these chemicals the day I went back to low-carb, so that felt miles better than purgeing.

pete69

I know this one is a little older, but just wanted to add I was a bulimic for over 2 years, and a very low carb diet helped me tremendously in getting over it. I low carbed for years prior to this problem, but once I started incorporating carbs back into my diet, one of the results was a binge-purge cycle that I struggled to get out of.

Now I just avoid carbs except on a rare occassion, and when I do eat carbs I find I have a tendancy to binge on them, and fall off the wagon diet-wise for the next few days.

Eat no carbs, and I can diet on 1200 calories for weeks if I want to (not that I do this normally, of course)

Carne Vorare

EDs r so f#Ckin hard to kick.

u guys *gals* must have really dug deep to pull out that knockout punch.

LOOPS

you know actually it was really easy for me given the right diet - otherwise nothing would have worked. Give a bulimic a diet where they can eat all they want (with a few restrictions like here carbs), promise them they won't gain weight and voila - the cure. I'm not joking. You literally take away the reason for purging in the first place - and bingeing is really just a result of malnutrition and low blood sugar. So you stop the cycle.

Well for me it was like that anyway. And yes, I do eat a lot. I never ever restrict food intake for any reason at all - it seems quite futile and the body will always fight back and win. So give it what it wants and needs but NO CARBS. I admit I still use some AS but it is a small price to pay.

adwred

How many carbs do you allow yourself? I can't remember if you do dairy or not.

LOOPS

Hi adwred -

finally I have internet again (moved house and was disconnected for 2 months wah).

I try to keep carbs to the absolute minimum as I feel better this way. Hmm, like say for me that is 10-15 a day max if I can do it. One of my problems is wine - I love wine and who knows how many carbs there are really in dry wine??? I reckon they are all glycerin which is in fat anyway right???

So I usually eat some heavy cream (5g?) and then some wine (say a couple of glasses so 5-8g?). Occasionally I eat lettuce or spinach, or some lemon juice but not often.

I was eating nuts but due to a knee injury from tennis I cut these out (was no longer pounding the courts every single day). For me if I do a lot of exercise I can get away with eating nuts and no weight gain but I really do have a messed up metabolism and really any carbs higher than say 10-15 cause me to start to have cravings.

I have to say since ditching the nuts I am not craving them so much. It's weird - the more I ate of them the more I craved them.

That was a long answer sorry.

LOOPS

Oh yes obviously from my post you can see I still do dairy. I would like to try without just for experiment's sake but it would be a real hassle, and I am probably addicted to the stuff anyway (microwaved cheese slices hmmm).

I don't really care right now - my skin is good, I feel fine and I pick the lowest carb cheeses (Chilean goat and whatever says 1g carb per 100g or less). Also I notice after eating cheese I am not hungry for quite awhile which hopefully means I don't have a problem with it. I have to admit I relish a good glass of Chilean carmenere with some slices of mature goat cheese. However even the wine addiction has been cut back as I no longer have a large tolerance for alcohol (I assume or hope this is a positive thing). A glass or two makes me very sleepy.

Carne Vorare

the right diet is what most ppl need. course, that includes something they can stick with. which is why imo our way of eating will never become mainstream.

i mean, ppl need something they are comfortable with..including socially and mentally. most of us have been conditioned throughout our years to accept as dogma that meat is unanimously unhealthy and food from plant sources are the sh#t.

something that ingrained doesnt just go away.

and in my experience dealing with ppl there are many for whom carb consumption does actually work, provided its controlled and chosen from healthy sources.

however, the greatest problem those ppl face is possibly deficiencies like in fat and certain other substances.

yea, gotta go eat. ive turned into Dr. Who Knows suddenly Crack Me Up

meatythang

Hey LOOPS, I know this post is a bit dated, but wow nice job, personally im still battling my bulimia but its chilled out a lot, people say it only gets worse but since discovering low carb eating its only gotten bette, just curious did you just jump into zero carb and it went away? did you get any therapy for under lying issues etc? Curious, personally it seems like everytime i get a little relaxed in my eating and introduce, a little too much fruit or maybe a spud i loose control, feel bad and binge..people say its "issues" etc but I think diet has got to play a bigger role than originally thought... PS I too love love tennis, I actually work at a pro shop/tennis center at a country club and played since I was 7 but stopped awhile after high school, I start my summer college semester tomorrow and I am taking tennis mornings monday-thursday its an awesome sport, and when I argue with my friends I always have to say it takes more skill than most sports..anyways, anything you have to say about this and your experience I'd absolutely love to hear! -Amanda

Kristi31

Love tennis, watching and playing. I've been playing for over 20 years, never get tired of it. Have tickets for the tournament here in July. This year, it's women. Personally, I prefer the men. Wink

adwred

I hate tennis! So much RUNNING AROUND! And I can never hit anything. It makes me feel very stressed out. Laugh

I haven't even tried in years, though, so maybe I'd feel differently with some practice.

LOOPS

Hi Meatythang -

just got back off holiday so just saw your post. Right now I'm back to eating nuts and vegetables (with lots of butter) in addition to meat, cream, cheese. Mainly due to the fact that I saw absolutely no difference in how I felt, apart from looking a bit pasty after a few months of completely cutting out vegetation.

Anyway - that is bytheby. Initially I just jumped into a general low carb diet with lots of anything I wanted as long as it didn't have significant carbs. I started off eating lots of salads with cheese, cream in tea, steaks, nuts - the usual low-carb fare. The point for me was NO RESTRICTION apart from carbs - that got me off the bulimic bandwagon straight away. I did get a bit frustrated with my weight bouncing up and down, but accepted it, as my skin looked much better etc. At the time I was reading Life Without Bread and it made sense to me. So I wasn't worried about going zero carb or anything. I originally found Atkins too restricting, and usually ended up eating too much protein and not enough fat to enjoy meals/feel satiated.

Initially I did binge on low-carb stuff - which was fine, because I was hungry and needed the nutrients. Usually the binge was followed by long periods of not being hungry anyway. I didn't panic either.

I am slowly increasing carbs a little - I can't do any of that cyclic carbs stuff because it will make me panic, but I actually feel more energy now if I include more varied foods like veggies etc.

I am a bit peed off that I am not at a perfect weight for me (not wanting to be thin or anything just get rid of flab round belly), but I'm not far off, and I'm not bulimic, or anorexic, or obsessing about food anymore (well, apart from when someone offers me aged goat cheese).

I guess right now I'm doing my own version of a cross between Banta and Optimal. I want to see if a few more carbs will help me shift the last of the flab.

Carnation

So, loops, you're still eating high fat, right?

LOOPS

Yeah I'm still high fat. On the Banta diet you're just supposed to make sure the total percentages come out above 1.5 (fat burning index). You're not supposed to count carbs or protein but just their relationship to fat amounts.

I'm not sure whether it is working. Well - after I gained some weight doing very low carb not paying attention to protein or fat g, I have since lost about a kilo from an all-time high doing high fat with a few more carbs. I started off low-carbing 3 years ago with veggies, nuts, cream, cheese, meat and constantly fluctuated from 60 to 65 kilos. When I went VLC, I climbed up to 65/6 once more and stayed there. My 'test' jeans were tight at this point.

Right now I'm at ~64 kilos. My test jeans are looser. That could mean anything. Could be I have more potassium in my diet now - less water, or it could be fat loss. Not sure.

So although I am still high fat now, I am trying to research to see if there is another option. I am 25% body fat, and would like to be 20%. But I would not like my bulimia to rear it's ugly head again, so I have to be careful with any changes I make.

Cured my bulimia - going on 10 months

Carbs were always my enemy...

Bulimic no more...